Hey there! It’s your email bestie here again. If this is your first time reading one of my newsletters, my name is Adedolapo, I’m a writer and I’m documenting and sharing my journey to a life of impact. If that sounds interesting, please subscribe. Welcome to the family🤗.
Today’s email is one that I believe will truly, richly and deeply bless you. I started writing this a while ago and it was actually supposed to be published last month but I didn’t get approval to publish so I didn’t.
Now, I understand why. I have rewritten the entire article and it really is one for the books. Let’s get into it. Before then however, here’s Something to think about.
Success can be attained without rest, but it isn’t sustained without rest.
- Adam Grant
This quote really spoke to me because I’ve been struggling with getting enough rest lately and at a point, I started to romanticize that lack of rest as a sign of hard work. I’ve had to catch that thought pattern and tell myself “No! It isn’t a sign of hard work, it’s a sign of poor planning. Do better.”
If you’re going through the same thing, do better.
moving to the topic of the day…
Authenticity. What does authenticity mean to you? I think that authenticity is a word that is widely used but poorly understood. This newsletter is about my journey to understanding the meaning of that word and living it out.
This story starts with young Dolapo. As a young girl, I was very perceptive(I still am). What this means is that I often looked at how people did things and then I modelled my behavior after that.
I’m also a very inquisitive person but I don’t remember asking a lot of questions in my childhood so my primary way of learning was by observing and modeling/recreating. I would look around me just to make sure I was in conformity with everyone else. And there was nothing wrong with this, it’s the way children learn- by observing.
However, I started to grow up and I started to question why certain things were done a certain way. Again, this is a normal phase in the development of any child.
I grew even more and I started to actively research my options and decide for myself who I wanted to be and what I wanted for myself. I started to ask myself questions. Who am I? What things do I enjoy? What is my thought process? What kind of life do I find attractive? What choices give me peace?
Those questions led me on a path of increased clarity and self-discovery. That, in a nutshell is my (ongoing) journey to authenticity. Now I’m going to break things down and reflect on the ways I’ve CHOSEN to be me. Here’s all the ways I’ve chosen to be Authentic.
Authenticity is me realizing my identity as royalty and carrying myself as such.
Authenticity is me learning that no matter how much I respect a person’s opinion, I still have to filter their advice and discard what isn’t applicable to me or my unique journey.
Authenticity is me realizing that not everyone is for me and it’s okay to be cautious about who I let into my space.
Authenticity is me rejecting pop culture and consciously curating the things I let into my mind.
Authenticity is me realizing that I can be my own person and make my own choices.
Authenticity is me owning my unique heritage and realizing the advantages accorded to me because of that heritage. It’s also being honest with myself about the disadvantages of that heritage and working around them.
Authenticity is me guarding my mind and not letting myself be sold the lie that I’m “doing too much.”
Authenticity is me realizing that not every teacher is for me and that there are times and seasons. The fact that everyone is raving about this teacher or coach doesn’t mean that they’re right for me. Also, the fact that someone is the right teacher for me in this season doesn’t mean that they’ll be the right teacher for me in another season and that’s okay.
Authenticity is me choosing originality over superficiality when it comes to the way I show up. It’s “being” instead of “appearing to be”.
Authenticity is me realizing that my “negative” traits have their place in my life, I just have to manage them properly.
Authenticity is me not hiding my gift because of fear of how it’ll be received.
Authenticity is me realizing what’s unique about me and what difference that makes.
Authenticity is me deciding to own my own beauty and intentionally influence the perception of it. A lot of people find it puzzling when I post pictures of myself in “unflattering angles”. It might not be a pretty image but it’s me. This is me teaching myself that I’m more than a pretty face. It’s showing up as more than that. It’s accepting that there are days that I won’t look my best and yet, that’s still me. It’s who I am, unfiltered.
Authenticity is me realizing my strengths and weaknesses. It’s me playing to my strengths and managing my weaknesses.
Authenticity is me separating the desires of ambition from the call of vision and purpose.
Authenticity is me taking charge of my energy and excusing the people, places and things that drain me.
Authenticity is me realizing that my journey is different and focusing on my journey instead of constantly comparing myself to others.
Authenticity is me not undermining the difference my life makes to the world.
Authenticity is me realizing my sensitivities and biases and judging matters with them in mind.
Authenticity is me extending love but not friendship to the people that are not right for me.
Authenticity is me realizing and unapologetically, yet wisely choosing the things I like, the little things that make me happy.
Finally, authenticity is accepting God’s great love for me even on days when I feel unworthy.
I could write a newsletter each about every point I listed above because there’s just so much to unpack. However, I’m stopping here and passing the microphone to you, what makes you YOU? What are the ways you show up as your authentic self?
Please do let me know. This is where I’ll be ending today’s newsletter. Remember that I’m always rooting for you.
Until next time, Shine Bright🌟
Love, Dolapo.
Thank you for such beautiful definitions of authenticity, Dolapo.
I'd like to add that authenticity is me giving myself permission to let my light shine without being afraid of people's reception.
Authenticity is me choosing real and embracing my imperfections in a world where everybody want to seem perfect.
Authenticity is me accepting that there are many good people, but not every good person would be in my space. Accepting that just like seasons, people come and people go. Not because I'm a bad person or I'm not enough, but because life is in phases.
Finally, authenticity is me accepting that I'm enough, because God is enough.
I needed to pause intermittently to properly internalise your definitions of authenticity. Initially, the quote about the sustainability of success without rest resonated with me but as I read on, I felt each subsequent perception of authenticity stole the show. Best piece I've read today!
To answer the question, I'd say I show up as my authentic self by:
1. filtering out the noise and ensuring I'm in control of my decisions
2. putting myself first before anything else
3. embracing my perks in a world filled with normalcy